Inner Conflict

by Organized Chaos

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07:59

credits

released 01 September 2011

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Track Name: Starise
‘’My poison words are  gonna patch up your broken dreams…
I dictate a song of teeth attacking mouth, hand stabbing leg,
Brother killing brother… We have gone too far… but still not far enough’’  
 
I’m the pouring rain
Washing your sins away
A Shepherd to keep you all together
I am a star to guide you in the gloomiest night
A fire to keep you warm with in, so
listen to my words

I’m the grinding machine
A wheel turning around your futile needs  
With no compromise, there is no control, there is no restrictions,
I take I take I take I take I take
In this city shining with sin
why should I stop, just remove the obstacle    

So gimme, gimme, gimme more
To give them, give them, give them more  
More applause, more awards
More drugs, clean whores
A new war, Better bombs
Faster cars , Bigger tombs
A new modern world!  
What shall I do to fill this void inside, that we call Life?
Track Name: Walking through water
Walking through water

‘’The hospital bed is my sanctuary, I no longer want to be a part of this world. The voice speaks to me, but I ignore it.’’

While I’m opening my eyes, I fear just what I might see.
I’m wrapped to machines around, and to the machine that I’ve become
As I scan my life, I can’t contemplate in this complicated world
These tubes will produce more life juice then I ever will.

I fell like I am Walking through the water and I wonder
Can I
Breath in
without choking

I’m not fit to play this game,
Chance is a blank screen with one steady line
when I have it all, I want more,
When I have nothing I want nothing at all.
If I’m praying then why can’t I just believe

I feel like I am Walking through the water and I wonder
Can I
Breath in
Without choking

Let me out!

Why can’t it all be the way I want to?
Suffocating by my beliefs, I want to know
Crucified on my bed
Tubes are in my stigmas
I’m lying here and I’m longing for the end

Dispute the state I am in
I’m still having good opinion about myself
I don’t know why I shouldn’t go on when my mind is telling me that
I can be Jesus and Judas and that is OK.
When I can be no one, and I can be all, so Why can’t I be God ?

Come one
Breath in – It’s all right,
Breath in - All is fine ,
Breath in - Don’t fall away, don’t look away, come to the light
Breath in – there is nothing there, there is no one there, so come on and
WAKE UP – dreamer
WAKE UP – dreamer
AWAKE! Come on
AWAKE! everything will be all right


Who are you to judge me?
For all the colors of the world? NO
Don’t fall away, don’t look away, come to the light
there is nothing there, there is no one there, so come one
I will find my own peace of awakening when I want to
So hide your face and bleed for our sins in the corner
I don’t know what you think you are, but I am so much more!
Track Name: We
We

‘’The Dark energy flows through life, unfeasible
Attractive warm eyes are depths of passion
Pulling you inside, taking the breath

The black spring flooded into white
Fulfilling every vein it runs
Faster, and faster through the heart
The heat is getting stronger now…
It evaporates through the palms

He is the voice… She is the skin… She could make the difference’’

All the things that I’ve become are driven from it’s confluence
Wondering what would be if it had been
The question is, should we answer?
After separation, a part of me is absent with no hope of reuniting.
A slight moment is enough to remember, to forget, a life time
Still, I’m smiling and I’m trying to forget but,
Every night the dream is the same

The body is trembling
The thoughts are too weak to realize,
What happened

A lonely white soul was watching around and found
A dark spring
Looking into it, as far as the eye can see
The sameness in different

And the light is spreading all over the body
It fulfills the white pores
The blood is warming up

As the thoughts begin to burn
In that game of shadows
Black and white are stirred up
Making grey
Now the different is becoming the same
Different is now grey

Oh, how I fell you now
I’m keeping you inside, so alive
Keeping us grey
Track Name: The beginning of something beautiful
The beginning of something beautiful

‘’She is like a soft ray, enlightening my life… my essence. No more deconstruction, no more grim nights… I am happy…’’

You are the sunshine
Softly touching my face
The beautiful smile
caressing my heart

The warmth of your embrace takes me here
Now you are the dream, finally come to life
I will love you
I will be fateful
I just want to see a sparkle in your eyes
I just want to hold you in my arms
Track Name: My own personal garden of sin
My personal garden of sin

‘’…I am human!’’

I am human… waste

Dive your peak into the rotten meat
Grab your share and you are fine
LET THE FEAST BEGIN!

Pick up the blood from the pavement
I’m sure it isn’t mine
Again, I remember nothing

The lips are fine, just a few stitches will be enough
Come on baby, gimme some of that good stuff
‘’she said’’
Just a little money - yeah
In the city
Just a little money makes the world spinning around

Singing on the roofs
Under neon stars
With a pair of wings and no urge to fly
See the city shine, and I’m feeling fine
As long as I’m burning within
In my personal garden of sin

COME ON MOTHERFUCKER!

Sometimes I feel love
Sometimes I feel like I’m floating in air
when I’m with you
Baby, how I love you so

Singing on the roofs
Under neon stars
With a pair of wings and no urge to fly
See the city shine, and I’m feeling fine
As long as I’m burning within
In my personal garden of sin

Everybody shoot somebody
Everybody shoot somebody
c’mon shoot somebody c’mon

Quiet! when I’m talking!
All the night the
Phone is ringing
Life unbending
Try Submitting
To all the things that will make you come undone
Maybe if I’ll just get a good night’s sleep, what pills should I take?
Remember what the doctor said…

Everybody shoot somebody

I’ll see if you will keep on smiling
When you’ll taste my fist in your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Relax, too much aggression is no good
Please be calm

‘’lady of the night should calm me… for now’’

Come to me, closer
Baby don’t be shy
There is nothing wrong about wanting more, well,
Love is a disease that keeps us all alive

What are we living for?
Why do we die?
AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

I am human
So alone,
I am human
without a face
We are humans tied down to the ground, with a strong urge to fly

Everybody shoot somebody
Everybody shoot somebody
Everybody shoot somebody
Everybody shoot somebody
Track Name: Love
Love

‘’ you nothing to hide, these sheets don’t lie… We are in too deep. There is no turning back, yet you seek the way too flee. Why? The collision is here. Embrace me.. ‘’

Look into my eyes and tell me that.
The time is cutting away
Inside we try to hide
but the feeling’s died..
No more, she said,
No more will I hide away

Within the pleasure they forgot their pain
To find the scent of trust they play their game
The trail of passion too strong to resist
Anxiety has made hunger

I can’t believe this is happening. I have longed and dreamed
For so long that I can’t tell the difference between reality and dream.
A thousand questions filled my mind. Is It all gained or all lost?

There is an empty void inside
That she needs to fill up
There is a trail of passion
Between the sheets and us

I get a funny feeling inside when I get too close to you, she said,
The flame can be lit by a single telephone ring
Go ahead and try to hide away from your own lies

No more, she said,
No more PAIN!

Longing
Skin
Needing
Sweat
Taste
Licking your lips

There is a funny feeling inside me
There is a funny feeling inside me. NO!
There is a funny feeling inside me, it won’t go away

am I dreaming?

There is an empty void inside
That she needs to fill up
There is a trail of passion
Between the sheets and us

Try to hide away
From the world outside the bed
Try to hide
Between the sheets and us

We swim through each other around another
To feel my love in you
Track Name: Inner Conflict
Inner conflict

‘’ No one must know… not even her. Again all is blurred with numbness.
I am two’’.

Watching all the dots
Swarming down like ants
From the utmost top,
I feel so alone

The room is a mess
I’m building up the stress
Though I’m more than accepted
I feel so alone

No one knows
No one knows
No one knows what I keep inside the mind

People are just
Rushing through the streets
Another traffic jam
Another pointless why?

My persistency
To make personality
Is growing constantly
Leaving me dry

No one knows
No one knows
No one knows what we keep inside the mind

(What’s the matter baby?
Are you feeling all right?)

Reflection reveals
The unseen sickness
Startled by not knowing
The man who is showing

Skin attached to the floor
Wondering if I’m pretending
But I know I’ll never will
Play dead so real
(this is all in my mind)

No one knows
No one knows
No one fucking knows
The pain I feel now inside
I’m wasting my time
Thinking of all that could have been
I am bleeding
I’m falling down into myself again

Wishing I’m beside you now
I never wanted any other way
Feeling like a child
Wanting, yearning,
Closeness overwhelms me
Hold me tighter now
Please hush, don’t speak a word
Words can only make me remember…

No one knows
No one knows what I keep now inside of my mind

Then I’ll brake

Unseen, dying, thoughtless concept I,m
Failing, stabbing my self in the back
Where I begin lying next to me

BREAK ALL THE THINGS YOU LOVE
NOW BLOW YOUR CHANCE

No one knows
No one knows
No one knows
No one knows
No one knows what I keep now inside of my mind
What we should do to keep the sanity...
Track Name: Hey God!
Hey God!

‘’Smokey party… In this concrete mountain I feel so high. Just a little more and I will talk to him… maybe HE will know… ‘’

Do you believe in what you see
Can you believe in what you see
Just believe…

Hello God. It’s very nice of you to drop by
Sit down, sit down, take a sip of vine and let me see you shine

Oh, we are a rough crowd
Give us all and we`d like more
Please quench our apetites
We like to chew things to the bone (you seem much older then I thought or I`m just too dam high)

Hey god!

See the mankind juggling with their emotions
Trust me, it’s easier when you have lack of balls
If the mankind made you, they can erase you
Come on Big G, sing with me

We believe in you
We have faith
We believe in you
Do you believe In us

We all need someone to love
Someone to hate
We all just want to dance all night long

Hey big G, something bugs me.
Let’s make a deal
There’s a nasty competition
People need no apparition
But the concrete proof in regarding of their faith

We all want to know Buda
What’s behind the show Krishna
Behind the curtain Allah

I will be your missionary
But it must be scary knowing that
I need you, god, but you need me more


We all need someone to love
Someone to hate
We all just want to dance all night long

People want an icon,
People want to dream
People need someone to take their sins away
Just to forgive

Jesus Christ come show me
Jesus Christ come help me
Jesus Christ come show me
What have you become?

Hey! Praise the lord!
Praise Jesus!
By the power of the green paper god
acquire your forgiveness
We all know there’s much more than this
pitiful life we have on this withered earth
So if you want to spend your eternity
in comfort and ease, step right up and
CASH IN!

Jesus Christ come help us
We are so small We are so afraid now
HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH
Can you hear us, GOD?

We all need someone to love
Someone to hate
We just want to be confident that there must be something
ARE YOU STILL LISTENING GOD?

We all need someone to love
Someone to hate
We need someone to take our sins away

We all need someone to love
Someone to hate
We need someone to take our sins away

There is a light, shining so bright
We are crippled please make us whole
SAVE US, SAVE US, SAVE US
DON’T SAVE THEM - SAVE YOURSELF!
Track Name: Bleeding Consequence
Bleeding consequence


‘’ I will, watch her shine, watch her shining …. Without me
I will hear her laugh, hear her laughing without me.’’

Oh it feels like rain, like drops falling down on your skin
Like a silent whisper I want you to be
Oh to be with you, I know, to take them away
With one touch so pure in heart

Remember all the smiles that night
when we were walking between the trees
Every little shine in your eyes
Was there to be my light
Our arms were led in the same way

Where are you, my darling sky
Behind the creature lies more than it seems
Where are you, it feels colder now
Bleeding consequence has sang the last cry
When we were pulled down

Oh it still pours, it pours it can’t quench the burns
Our bodies entwining in the dance
The dance of life and the music is you
With every tone I feel you more, and more

Remember the smiles
Remember that night
Remember all the things I said
The more that I feel, the more I am numb
The more I’m astounded the more I’m bored
Standing naked in the corners of life
Counting the days, watching your skin peel
So don’t you hesitate no more,
Just say those two words before it really hurts…

WAKE UP!

‘’In this room all will remain’’

Where are you, my darling sky
Behind the creature lies more than it seems
Where are you, it feels colder now
Bleeding consequence has sang the last cry
When we were pulled down

We hurt each other to feel alive
With your eyes wide shut
In the end, it’s all the same
And your bleeding eyes
Walk away!
There is an empty void that she needs to fill up!

Just walk away from me, turn away, run away, just walk away from me.


‘’your voice found a weak spot in my heart, the hidden indelible desire.
Every drop of sweat is the place where your fingers are touching me like
Strong moves that are taking us through the sighs’’
Track Name: Beacon of hope
Beacon of Hope

Hold back the tide
The flood will drown me
With past memories
I’m here by your side

You are so close to me
I can feel your breath,
The same breath that once
Was one with mine

It is rising up inside

Hold back that thought
You know that I know
What you mean,
It is written in your eyes
Embracing me with its shine

Life is cold
Life is silent
Life is dead
When you are away
Life is just
A question
A longing for
A beacon of hope

Hold back the tide
I know, that it’s maybe never mean to be
Unspeakable words create
Unknowable thoughts

Now it’s hurting
I’m burning up inside
The flame is unquenchable
Forever rising lightened by you

I am cold
I am silent
I am gone
When you are away
I am just
questioning
And longing for
A beacon of hope

You are the sunshine
Softly touching my face
The beautiful smile
Caressing my heart

The warmth of your embrace
Takes me back
To the dream
Safely kept inside

I now pledge:
I will love you
Forever
I just wish to hold you in my arms
A sparkle in your eyes
Is telling me that

There is hope
Deep inside
It’s burning
And I know

I’m yearning
I’m waiting for
Collision
Two hearts collide
Two worlds collide
Making grey
There is hope
You are all
Track Name: La sonrisa eterna
La sonrisa eterna

Ese día
mis ojos entendieron los tuyos
llenos de la tristeza y del dolor.

Hay una tormenta dentro de ti.

Hablabas de tu vida
de tus errores, del dolor
y todas las cosas por las que luchaste.

Ahora…
Hay una tormenta dentro de mí.

En mis sueños te llamo
tu sonrisa, tu corazón,
ojos que ya no puedo
ni sentir ni ver.
Nunca más.

Un día una lágrima de fuego cayó en mi corazón
mi alma quemaba del dolor
y llevaba todo el calor a tu lado.

En mis sueños te llamo
tu sonrisa, tu corazón,
ojos que ya no puedo
ni sentir ni ver.
Nunca más.

“Nunca imaginé
que te fuese a extrañar tanto.
Tus ojos llenos de amor.
Estés donde estés, estás a mi lado.
Dejaste el rastro en mi corazón,
tu sonrisa sincera
tu sonrisa eterna”
Track Name: As life silences us...
As life silences us

‘’ I shouldn’t have taken the wheel. ‘’

Why god?
Why does it have to be this way?
Why her? Why not me?
Why?

Underneath the silky white sheet
I make out your face
another red dot puts the end to poet’s words as life silences us.
All hope has grown wings and flown away
I am to blame

(Between the sheets and us)

Another drop falls, unnoticed in the pouring rain, as we stand paralyzed
We have no idea what we have until it’s gone


Why God? I should be in that bed. I should be picked up for this.
I should be dying, not her, oh, this is not happening!

This is all a dream
This must be a dream
But the pain is so real

Pulled down by the weight of life
She breathes no more
Under the weight of life we are
So weak and small

Pulled down by the weight of life
She breathes no more
Under the weight of life we are
So weak and small

Sit down

The doctor’s words have pushed me into trance
This pain I couldn’t bare
Leaving me with just a memory
And to wonder What could have been?
If you are here to hear the news of our unborn child

THIS WORLD IS NOTHING
WITHOUT YOU

WHY must death come so soon
It’s always too soon

There is no god, there is no fate, there is no world
Just nothingness
There is no god, there is no fate, there is no world, there’s nothing

Pulled down by the weight of life
She breathes no more
Under the weight of life we are
So weak and small

I cannot look into my eyes
And see what I’ve done
We are too weak and the flesh is frail
And torn apart …… now

We are all already dead
Track Name: Antidote
Antidote

‘’ Now that she is gone, I have no will to carry on. No more numbness….just pain’’


’’Picking up the pieces of time past
All that was, and all the wounds will never mend, All that should be is torn asunder. I’m trying harder, but whom to turn to, when she was all, when she is now gone? After all that has been, after all the hiding, the trying, the fighting, the lying, and the pain forms a wall, and it forms a mask, forms sweet duality. Behind, I hide. Building an urge to seek for comfort, unborn god and unnamed religion. Seeking for shreds of memory that I left inside.

I bleed
I fall
I know
Some things will never change

The more I tend to rise
The more I crave to fall

Every night the dream is the same
I long to stay in the velvet sleep
Never again to feel
The pain of awakening

Now I sit alone
Like a cold and bitter stone
Waiting for a sign
In the desert of denial

Still feeling the pain,
the pain reappears
visions of two springs collide
never before to fell
the ache of wondering

The pain won’t seize to end
I got to find the remedy
Seeking what I cannot find nor
Grasp, and it’s puling me
Down, down into that trip again

Hallo baby, it’s good to see you here
Sit down, grab a drink, stay for a night.
I know it’s too fast and strange but
Sit back, enjoy the ride. What’s that?
Come on, but just don’t stop
Believing that it’s true
Hold me, sorry, I don’t feel a thing
I’m feeling sadder and sadder
No! I need to be happy,
Or just to feel depressed again?

Wondering where you are
I wish to be with you
Still I love you so
A silent cry in the night
Will be wept unheard, again

I bleed
I fall
I know
Some things will never change
The more I tend to rise
The more I crave to fall

Burn it away, take it away,
Fake it away, it’s ticking away
Feel the need to pretend
I’m behind the mask, I’m behind the wall
Always fighting between my selves
Regretting all I have and haven’t ever done

Every night the dream is the same
I long to stay in the velvet sleep
Never again to feel
The pain of awakening

As the city lights still flicker down below
With all its glorious insignificant glow
One light is slowly fading away
And no one knows
No one should know that
‘’Still I love you so’’
A silent cry in the night
Will be left unheard…